The day when I became a princess, I found my prince
I still remember that one evening, when I was sitting in front of my computer. I lived in Zurich, was about 28 years old and I was doing my studies as a small children educator. That evening I was bored and lonely. Therefore, playing around with Google, I wrote: “looking for Christian man, Switzerland”.
And there it was, Benny’s online contact ad where he was looking for me.
Well, actually, the title of his contact ad was: “Prince looking for princess to change the world together”
Only a few months before that, I would have smiled, telling myself: “I’m not a princess and I don’t want to be one”…I would have shut this webpage and missed this amazing man, who is my husband today.
But I didn’t shut that webpage. At least not before I wrote an email to this prince who was looking for a princess.
This was a very spontaneous action of mine, because, using my brain, I would never have done that. The whole world of dating platforms was totally unknown to me and something I clearly wasn’t interested in at all. However, that title “Prince looking for princess” triggered something inside of me.
The reason it triggered something inside of me, was a shift in my understanding, which happened a couple of months ago, on what this word “princess “could mean.
As far as I remember, being a princess was never something I dreamed of. I did not want to dress like one; being treated like one… This, because in my comprehension, it was simply boring. I considered girls behaving like a princess annoying.
In my childhood, I preferred to go for a trip with my siblings, swimming in the nearby river or going out for long walks with our friend’s dog. Being a princess? I was not interested in that.
One time, when I was about 18 years old, I went out, with a couple of girls, to spend a weekend on a farm. For lunch the farmers prepared bacon, haricots and potatoes, something quite rural and common for a farmers meal. The girls who were with me, all with that very “princessy behavior” looked at the bacon and separated all white (the fat) from the red (the meat)… and only ate the meat. This, in my understanding, was “being” a princess and I couldn’t identify with that for one bit.
I kept this view of being a princess until a few weeks before that contact ad. And with that concept of a princess I would never have felt triggered by that title.
I was in Bolivia for a couple of months when a couple from the United States, who worked in a Christian bookshop back home, brought me a book with the title:
“Keeping a princess heart in a not so fairy tale world”
Another time I will share some insights of this book, that influenced my way of seeing things in a profound way.
Today, I will simply share a poem I wrote after reading that book:
I am a Princess
Yes, I am a Princess, against all that this world says
No need of hiding in a dungeon
No need of pretending and living in a Castle in the air
I am called to be a Princess in the Castle of the King
I am a Princess, I am beautiful
Admired, visible and shining
An experience, close to a dream
A deep desire, hidden in my soul.
Yes, I am a Princess, even in daily life
Loved, wanted, desired, with great worth and value
Yes, I am beautiful, that’s part of my identity
Honored, protected, restored, made anew
Yes, I am a Princess, no matter the circumstances
Life may tell the opposite, trying to tear me down
Situations, overwhelming, wanting to force me to disbelieve it
My identity stands, I am the daughter of the King, that’s who I am
Yes, I am a Princess, called to stay close to the King
Hiding in him, letting him show me
Letting go of my ways, trusting in His Love and Faithfulness
Resting in this Love, believing His Promises, standing in the reality of Life.
With that new concept of what being a princess means, that title of the contact ad hit me — and my spontaneous answer made me the winner over 70 more responses, Benny got to his contact ad!
That sounds just like a fairy tale, doesn’t it?
Well, real life is a bit more complicated than a fairy tale, but we have definitely been very happily married for 8 years, having four marvelous children together… still marveled about having found each other that very way.
And still I am his princess. Together we are “changing the world”.
Change is the most effective when it starts inside us. When our inner realty changes from rejection, fears, shame into a beautiful, mature, joyful place. From that place it becomes a deep desire to reach out to our own children, reach out to the people close to us and to people all around the world.